Dont’ get me wrong. I have a lot of time for our colonial cousins and in the past they have helped us out and for that we Brits are and ever will be, grateful. Even if they were four years too late. And they had to be kick-started by an Eastern Power.
This morning, amongst the emails was another of these “How to Do It – Webwise” type missives all about why everything I do on my website is wrong and why they are right. These articles invariably are about stating the blindingly obvious – and further, repetitive. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose, but it is how they do it, which irritates the hell out of me – and the repetitiveness..
The first thing you learn about American websites is “scroll to the bottom”. The first chunk of any USA website copy is all gushing about everything under the sun and how you are going to make so many millions by simply getting out of bed. Look, I’m not, I know that. Please – Don’t treat us all as complete egits. So, you always have to scroll to the bottom and then read back up, to see if it was you want.
The second thing is colour. Now, Americans have a rather, erm, eclectic sense of style. Take a look at their cars – I mean, who manages to travel in one of those big Chryslers that they brought over here, without feeling like a class one berk? Likewise, you see the American version of style on home grown websites – and it consists of gawdy colours and floral script. Hmmmm…..
Thirdly, adverts. Slap bang in the middle. The fact that most of us have gadgets on our browsers that edit these out seems to escape most of the US Website “gurus” and in any event, they are usually of a similer, gushing nature that makes us want to go to another website.
But, above all, it is the “one size fits all-ism” that is worst. We know that most Americans do not own passports and have never been out side their own homeland. Many have never been outside their collective ego’s. So, most of what is written, is aimed at and strictly applicable to – Americans. I know, for example, that Americans have a real problem coping with a website that is not priced in US Dollars – as witness the number of emails I get saying “What are British Pounds?” The you get silly phrases: “Tomatoe growing” (sic) “apples to oranges” comparisons “value build-up” “the value of the reason why” . Worse of all, this corporate mumbo-jumbo inevitably turns up on our shores and we have to spend time translating this garbage back into proper English.
By all means have a view and suggest that view – but please, just because it works your side of the pond, do not assume that it works on this!
